🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?